You're the kind of human wreckage that I love
by SupremeCommanderOfThisVessel
Summary: And yet all those flaws are what make Martin special - almost perfect - in Sherlock's eyes. (Sherlock/Cabin Pressure crossover; gender swap: girl!Sherlock/Captain Martin Crieff)


In wich Sherlock is a girl and very OOC, Captain Crieff is oblivious and sleeping and I really, really need to get a beta. Also I'm italian and I've learned english reading fanfic, so bear that in mind when you'll find lots of mistakes.  
(Title nicked from My Chemical Romace's Blood)

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_**You're the kind of human wreckage that I love**_

Sherlock can not help but wonder how the hell she got there, on a mattress thrown on the floor of a dusty attic of flat shared by young and immature students and a captain - a pilot - around which Sherlock is currently curled up, clinging up to even.

And there, right there, in the center of Fitton, in Martin Crieff's room, Sherlock lets out a smile a bit tender, a little selfish.

Martin is for everyone the embodiment of the man that nobody wants.

Redheaded, short and clumsy, with an irritating tendency to stutter at the first sign of a problem.

And yet all those flaws are what make Martin special - almost perfect - in Sherlock's eyes.

He's short: Sherlock can tower over him without the danger of being suffocated by his presence because Martin is an head shorter than her and he will never give the impression of being her bodyguard. Martin will never look like a knight in a shining armour ready to do anything to defend her from everything and anything. He's too short and tiny for that.

He's awkward: Sherlock will never have to be afraid to be overshadowed by his presence, no one will ever think that Martin is brilliant, that Martin is a genius, and she will keep on being brilliant and Martin, with his clumsiness could even make her look even more smart, could make her even more brilliant, more beautiful, even more smart in the eyes of other people.

He's readheaded: no one will ever thinks how beautiful Martin is, how he's fascinating, but all eyes will be as always on Sherlock and everyone would think of how Sherlock with those razor-sharp cheekbones , almond-shaped eyes and full lips of hers is so perfect and beautiful.

Because if it's true that Martin and Sherlock have the same facial features and almost to look like two identical twins, it's also true that Sherlock with her brown curls and her vague femininity is just irresistible, while Martin with his red locks and those freckles on his forehead and nose seems simply disfigured.

Sherlock knows that with all those flaws and, above all, because of the striking resemblance between her and the pilot, she definitely shouldn't find Martin attractive and yet, to her, there isn't a more desirable man in the world than Captain Martin Crieff.

And despite the evident lack of beauty, despite his sheer ignorance non-flying related, whenever Sherlock looks at Martin's too-skinny-wrists hidden by the MJN too-big-uniform she can't help but feel a little proud of that little pilot with his red hair and his red face, that jus't like her haven't be afraid to face insults and difficulties to get what he always wanted: being a pilot.

Martin, in order to gat his ATPL licence, faced seven times the examination to become a pilot, oblivious to the contempt of his father and the ridicule of his sibiling; and then, once he obtained the licence, in order to become captain was willing to accept the proposal of Carolyn: being the captain of G-ERTI but without receiving any salary; and in order to have money to live, Martin's being willing to keep fitting a second job around the trips for MJN, his so hated man-with-a-van job, using a van to the brink of destruction left to him as inheritance from his father as the last and final demonstration of disappointment; Martin, for all these years, has being willing to eat nothing but pasta (plus the occasional baked potato) in order to continue doing what he loves the most: flying.

And just how Sherlock could not admire such stubbornness? How Sherlock could not be intrigued by a man willing to suffer hunger, to be despised by all just to keep his beloved job?

Not to mention that his loneliness and his being emotionally damaged made him accept Sherlock without ifs and buts, making him look at the consultant detective like a thirsty man in a the desert would look at a glass of water, with an euphoric expression like a vampire barricaded inside a blood-bank. Just to have someone in his life, just to be desired, Martin was willing to cater to every whim of Sherlock like not even John Watson had never dared to do. To be desired by her he had granted her the full use of his body, to be forever tied to her, he's being willing to give her a son.

Sherlock shifts slightly, leaning on one elbow to take in Martins face and, in a fit of affection (make that hormones) she thanks God for all these defects, she thanks a deity in which, after all, does not know whether to believe in or not, because Martin is short, because Martin is clumsy and stuttering, because Martin has red hair, because Martin isn't exceptionally bright and intelligent, because Martin is desperate enough for wanting Sherlock. Because, after all, that is Martin's best quality: he's so despisable that no one will ever want him and Sherlock will always keep him all to herself.

But Martin does not know the truth. Martin ignores the true thoughts of Sherlock.

Martin thinks he's just a to toy her, another experiment and believes that sooner or later she will get bored of him and leave him and he will go back to be the ghost of a pilot who lives in the attic of a building, just the pathetic looner that the students are so afraid of.

Yet Martin is wrong, he's so very wrong.

How could Sherlock not love Martin when she feels Hamish kick her insides for the very first time reminding her that two freaks , two broken souls, two society rejects like them were able to make this little miracle together?

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Any chance for a little, tiny review?


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